A Girls Guide to Getting Twissed………..

Posted on January 27, 2010


When Jorge is older and she tells me she’s off to spend the weekend with a bunch of guys (and a couple of very lovely ladies) that she’s only ever spoken to on the internet I will, of course, lock her in her room and remind her that the internet is full of perverts and serial killers. However I have no such regard for my own safety and so spent a very enjoyable weekend in Sheffield with a whole bunch of pongy ale drinkers and it was brilliant, and whilst I can’t rule out the possibility of the odd pervert there didn’t seem to be a serial killer in sight, just a bunch of great fun people that I’m looking forward to seeing again at the next one.
Obviously there were great pubs, great breweries and great beers all of which you can find out about from Andy and Mark and there are some great pictures too but if you’re tempted to go on your own #twissup here’s my top tips…………

1. Trust the Experts – the beer blogging brigade know an awful lot about beer and pubs so when it comes to choosing a beer ask their advice and you’ll be surprised with some of the great beers you’ll find. Top beers of the day for me were Marble Brew No. 14 and Stone Ruination both of which could probably make it into my top 10 and which I might have missed out on if my fellow #twissers hadn’t recommended them. The Kelham Island Tavern is a pub I would never go in of my own accord, it looks a little grotty, there’s not a low slung leather sofa in sight and I suspect if you order a sandwich it wouldn’t come on focaccia with a wild rocket side salad (and one of the locals asked if I was a prostitute). But I’m very glad we went there, it’s not without good reason it was CAMRA National Pub of the Year, a great welcome, friendly atmosphere and a tremendous choice of beer. So suspend your normal rules and let the experts decide on where to go.
2. Never Call Them Experts – the pongy ale drinkers can be smug and superior enough towards us big mcorporate types so don’t let them believe their opinion is important.
3. Eating is Not Cheating –  if you are going to spend 12 hours drinking beers at 5% ABV upwards then a few wafer thin beef sandwiches aren’t going to cut it (especially if you’re not faster at eating than the lovely Kelly  from Thornbridge) so make sure you factor in food stops througout the day (foraging for what may have once been a chicken at 1am in the morning doesn’t count)
4. Don’t Put Your Bronzer on on the Bus – you might think you’re multi tasking and therefore saving drinking time but your knee, shoulder and pride will thank you for taking the time to pop to the ladies rather than surfing down the aisle of the bus on your nose.
5. Have Something Sweet – drinking beer all day makes you realise why some women think it’s too bitter so mix it up with some sweetness. I had a St Louis Kriek in The Harlequin and a Bacchus Frambozen in The Devonshire Cat that had just enough sweetness to give my tastebuds a rest from the big hoppy beers we’d been sinking all day.
6. Pack Nice Pyjamas – if Mark at Real Ale Reviews is ever trusted with a key again you may find yourself giving up your bed and then’s not the right time to share with everyone that you sleep commando
And Finally. Never Do Anything With a Tokyo Bottle That You Wouldn’t Want a Picture of on the Internet……….
Posted in: twissup